Independence

Yes, I know we all love to be independent. But, my question is to what extent? Human beings are social animals.. It's been taught to us since our school days and we do accept it. In this life, during our childhood we need out parents to be with us, to share our thoughts, our problems, our success like sorrow, everything. Moving on there comes a stage where we depend more on friends than parents. We can share those things which we can't share with our parents. And then comes girl friend, wife/husband. Throughout our life we need a hearing ear, we need a resting shoulder, we need someone or other.
I here meet a female who changed my whole perception of seeing independent living. She is over 90 years old. Yes she is. She stays all alone, she goes to church driving her car, goes to grocery store and buys things for herself, fills up gas f for her car, cooks food, does almost everything. She likes to be independent, that's awesome... But is it good.??? At this age..
Biggest question that keeps eating my head..

Life in Hagerstown

I have moved to this place called "Hagerstown", from Washington D.C. Its a small place compared to DC and isn't that happening. Thats what people say! Trust me this place is beautiful. People here whom i have met are really friendly. Working for an reputed company with amazing people around me is a very good stepping stone for my career, i am looking forward to do really well in my future endeavors. The department that i work for has really talented, knowledgeable people who are ready to teach me whatever i wanna learn. I have met an amazing couple here from my workplace. Mr and Mrs Smith. Such a lovely pair. Happiness is when they invited me over to their house for dinner and she had prepared South Indian curry. It was delicious by default but the love they had put in it added more taste to it. I discussed a lot of things with them, it was an amazing conversation. Right next to the place i live i have a beautiful cemetery. Amazing place to walk and seek realization about life. However you live your life, how much ever you earn, finally you will be buried in the ground without anything. You come to this world with nothing, you go from here taking nothing, why to struggle for secreting stuff that you can never take with you. All you need this life is to live and help others who cant. Such an amazing place to think deep into our life. I have been visiting church here to learn about christianity, "Part of my concept of Exploring life", its been an amazing journey so far. Learning about bible, listening to prayers, getting to know people and their life stories and more important is getting to know their problems.. Going to church always makes me emotional during the end. So many people with so many problems still faith in god and always confident that he takes care of us. I have met lot of awesome friends here and one of my colleague has an amazing kid, an angel, who makes me forget anything and everything that i am going through in my life.. she is a divine child.. i love kids and i love spending time with her.. Her parents Mr and Mrs eric are amazing souls.. She is such adorable kid. I have met an amazing soul called "Caitlin", OMG! such a beautiful and kind hearted female, i have never seen anyone as such in my life... Fun is to meet all these people during weekends.. Lonely life here in USA is turning out to be real fun and exciting... Will explain some other important concepts that i have understood in my next blog.

Studies

It was really difficult for me to get into the groove of this american system of education. I was so very adjusted to out system that it was taking me long Time to even understand the concepts here. It was no less than a struggle. I couldn't ask doubts with professors because Indian system created that fear in my mind. It always used to suggest me "dude, never go against professor" which I even followed here. I had this subject called theory of elasticity, it was so very complicated for an average Indian student like me that it took me hours to complete one single page, it was then I realized the importance of reading foreign author text books in India. I am not big fan of mathematics, there was a maths class which I had to take, it was mandatory. I took it too, it required special software which I didn't know it. Now the question was whether to learn math through traditional methods or learn software, no one insisted me, no one supported me. I was so damn confused. It took a semester to solve this puzzle which was going through my mind. By the time i realized that everything's gonna be OK the semester was about to end and was screwed up..

Settled: level 1

After searching, roaming and repeated emails I got a job as technical services in my university events Centre. It was the most satisfying moment for me after coming here. I was so happy. Went to new house, got new job new room mates, snowfall, everything seemed its beautiful. Classes started. I was so confident of doing well, but I wasn't strong enough. I didn't realize study methods here. Coming from India, getting along with united states education system was a big challenge for me. Assignments, projects all seemed challenging. Coming from mechanical engineering background I had very little knowledge about coding. But here everyone knew everything. Slowly my confidence started getting low. I wasn't able to analyze my ability. I think I started underestimating myself. Should I learn coding.? Why not.? But why should I.? So many questions. I didn't take a chance I skipped learning it, which later became problem for me. Cold weather, hot pizzas, heater in my room and nice thick comforter, everything was provoking me to sleep more and more. I was lazy. Yes! You heard it right, that guy who was considered to be active, enthusiastic, determined has now turned out to be lazy,lazy and lazy.

Job search

Getting job, as far as I was concerned people here always told everyone will get a job. But how??? Who's gonna refer me. "Hey bro, can you let me know where I can find on campus job", the common question I used to ask whichever Indian I meet here. Cold was getting intense. My body wasn't ready for such cold. Minimum temperature which I had experienced was only 18degree Celsius, because I come from a place which is well known for Its temperature in whole of India. It was -12 degree Celsius that day and I was supposed to search for job. With thermals on and making myself ready to go out for job search I left house. After walking for half an hour I could feel burning sensation on my face. My face skin starts to rupture. I suddenly turned my face towards a parked car to see my face in its mirror. Wth, I could see skin rupture and blood stains. I just thought, dude let's run. Stay safe. What happened to my job search then.??? Did I get job.?

Second innings begins

After good search and finding a reasonable apartment, what left was to start the class and bare the cold. Day by day I was getting strong but my mind was fluctuating. I had friends, but all busy in their own life, I had to study but always had a big question mark in my mind which said "where to start from".? Meantime, Snowfall. Wow!!! My first experience of snow in my 22 years life. Was it good experience.? Oh no!!! It was amazing. I had this excitement of filling my computers hard disk full of my pics enjoying in snow, but nope, my excitement didn't last that long. Day by day snow started troubling my daily routine. I was so inactive. Bed seemed best companion. Sleep was better than food. Still, tears used to roll down whenever my parents used to speak to me. Yes! I was missing their love.
You may find a girl friend who seems like loving you more than anyone, but that's not the fact. No one in this world loves you more than your parents. My professor in twelfth standard always used to tell me " sumanth, realization always comes later in mans life", which I experienced it after coming here. What else did I experience.???

Mission starts

After getting a Sim card and activating an India calling card, I was happy for getting great opportunity to call my parents twice a day and my girl friend n number of times. But now a big responsibility. What was that.? First of all, need to find a job. My parents before sending me here had told me "your university is so damn expensive that paying your tution fees itself is big thing for middle class people like us, we can't send you money for your living every month. Try to search for a job as soon as possible. If you didn't get it, COME BACK". I had to find a job, I had to find a house, I had to find a room mate.
I had to roam around in freezing cold of Washington DC I,e -7 to -9 degree Celsius. After roaming for certain time and with hand full of pomplets I came back home, I was hungry. I ate Maggi noodles, I knew to cook but my friend never allowed me to. Then I get a message from my girl friend saying " its all over, let's end this". I called her immediately, wth what happened. The reasons she gave, the decision she had taken and the trust she had on me made me collapse. Was this her love on me.? She wanted a breakup and I broke. She was happy and never again she herself called me or text me. My eyes couldn't take the pain which my heart could, they started crying. I said to them "hey guys don't cry, it depicts me as week, I wanna be strong" but nope, they didn't listen. My friend forced me to go to newyork with him for new year. Middle class guy, 3 days in DC, dollar rate so high, girl friend broke up, what's the answer to be expected. No! I said, he forced me and I accepted it finally. And now I was roaming states on 4 th day itself. On my way they stopped at a restaurant, I was hungry too, what to eat? I didn't know anything here, not even how to order food, prices are being calculated by my mind in terms of rupees, I was in no mood to eat, but still ate something which my friend suggested as vegetarian. After that the journey started again to NEW YORK CITY.